dating is in for summer!
May 7, 2008 by queeryentabubbelehs,
queer yenta is here and would like to say hello again!
school is out for the summer — friends have had their chuppah, seders have been thrown, and now queer yenta is here for you!
so what do you do, bubbelehs? you read yenta’s queer yenta how-to FAQ!
1) yenta, i’m shy! no one ever likes me! i don’t know what to say in my ad!
well, my dear, yenta recommends you take a deep breath and start again! remember that you are a gift to the world and if you have not found someone who appreciates your gift — be it the gift of your anal virginity or the gift of your hand in homo matrimony — then that has nothing to do with you.
second of all, my dear: what do you want? be specific! a sexy tryst? someone to play cat’s cradle with? articulate it!
third of all: who are you? what makes you hot? what makes you beautiful? many things, i am sure, but try to think. yenta encourages you to press your boundaries a little: are you SURE you will only be happy with a toppy person under 5′4″ who wears stiletto heels and coral lipstick? perhaps what you would like can come in another package! be specific but be brave and daring.
2) yenta, i found someone whose ad i love! what do i do now?
well, reply! the easiest way is to do this in the comments — remember, meine kinder, that those comments are public. your name and email will be visible!
if you are a more shy butterfly than that, then you can email yenta — queeryenta@gmail.com — and she will help you. don’t know what to say? don’t know how to say? just don’t know about making your admiration as public as a comment? email yenta. she is there for you!
3) yenta, who ARE you? where are you? why do i know i can trust you?
yenta is a group of queers from new york city who like to make sure that the queer community is well taken care of. they like to help queers in neighboring cities too, but their powers — though quite formidable! — can only do so much.
do you need references, bubbeleh? yenta has set up many satisfied customers so far! testimonials are coming soon.
4) yenta, i am afraid that hot ad is my friend! how do i avoid making a fool out of both of us?
first of all, my dears, yenta has heard of a few friends who have seen each other in queer yenta and perhaps in part from that were able to catalyze their attraction. you never know what your little heart might find!
second of all, this is when emailing queer yenta might be just the right idea. yenta does not know everyone you know, and yenta does not know everything about your sordid past, but yenta can help a little on your behalf.
yenta also would like to take a moment to state the following: admitting desire is not the horrifying thing it was in your middle school gym class, meine kinder! my beautiful queer flowers need to remember that they have just as legitimate a right to think someone is hot as anyone else, and of course your friends are the hottest of all! yenta recommends, in the case of a moment like this turning awkward, laughing it off and perhaps having a cel-ray.
